I mentioned in my writeup for HOW DO YOU WANT IT that I used Tupac’s music to help tap into and process my own anger over a lot of things. Anger I really had no idea I was carrying around in the first place until it started bubbling up one day and there was no turning back. It was like popping the cork off of a shaken champagne bottle. There’s no way to stuff the cork back in and stop the contents from erupting, from spilling out everywhere and making a giant mess. I decided to no longer deny the very real, very hard feelings I had been suppressing for a very, very long time. Anger that was getting in the way of me having healthy relationships with my family, friends and significant others. In an effort to direct the spillage – the potential mess – of my rage, I turned to the canvas, because I didn’t know how to talk about my feelings. I didn’t know how to express all that I was processing, nor did I actually want to talk about it, quite frankly. I’m a private, guarded person to the point where I wouldn’t even journal for many years (although I live alone), so paint, and particularly my word art, was a way to journal, to talk about my feelings through color, movement and someone else’s words (song lyrics) that so clearly aligned with my own thoughts and feelings. With lyrics like “My devotion is handling my business,” “Will I survive? Will I die?” “I’m lost in the land with no plan,” “Where you goin, I’ve been, came back as lonely,” and a few choice curse words thrown in, ALL EYEZ ON ME was another exploration in processing the darker side of my journey.

 

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