YOU ARE THE WILDERNESS

This was not a piece I ever planned on showing or even talking about. Aside from MILLION REASONS, this painting was one of the most emotionally challenging pieces I’ve ever worked on, because it was created in memory of one of the greatest loves of my life. I’m not married, I don’t have children, and my dogs have been my world since they joined me in this life. My dog Raph came to live with me at a time when I most needed to feel safe. He was fierce and protective in his love, and there was no length he would not have gone to in order to keep me and our home safe. He was also guarded in his own right, having never truly had a stable home in his life before me, and so he and I worked on breaking down the walls of our hearts together. When Raph transitioned from his earthly body into his angelic one, I was not prepared for the magnitude of the grief that befell me. I found the immensity of it to be suffocating beyond measure. So when I decided I finally had the courage to paint for him, YOU ARE THE WILDNERNESS by Voxhaul Broadcast seemed like the most appropriate song. It’s angry, and raw and desperate and full of passion, just like I felt. This piece is made up of lyrics like “I heard the wind shout, beneath my feet, I felt the earth shake inside of me ... I’ll run forever but I won’t get far, ‘cause if I don’t have you, I will starve. There’s a wolf in my heart ... for you.” It took me weeks to finish; I had to stop halfway for several weeks because it brought up so much grief, but I think the song, and the painting, perfectly encapsulates the fierce love I still share with my Raph.

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